Hotter Than.....

First I'm going to quote from the words of Krista, one of my favorite reads, a nugget of sly, twisted and very funny wordsmithee, one of our most erstute contemporary sages channeling through Badder Homes and Gardens about Texas heat this past APRIL :

" It's springtime in Texas, which means we're about four days away from it being so unbearably, mind-numbingly hot outside that you can't even leave the goddamn house without your skin blistering and your face melting off. Literally. Literally melting off. I have literally seen people's faces melt off onto the sidewalk right in front of me. Literally. I have literally seen this happen. Faces. Melting off. Literally melting off. Onto the sidewalk. "

Amen Sistah. Here's the thing - cwazy circumstances - I wound up injured (pre-event injury which limits my ability severely...a few steps' about it and muy pain) isolated, no phone or power (or no power to charge the phone if you prefer) for 3 days and 'bout 4 nights and the temps this week were 105+ plus here on my lofty, little, South Austin hilltop.

I was layin' low, trying to keep little sips of water down and taking frequent showers when it dawned on me something really badddd was happening. Really bad. I fought the notion, but the message remained. So changed a shirt, grabbed a purse and and cane (if I had any vanity left I woulda shot myself for how I looked long before the heat got me), got outside on the stairs (I'm on the second story), hailed a cute girl with a cell phone - 911-great EMT's with ice packs in ther van...and on and on. Hospital ran basic tests, got me hydrated and let me charge my cell phone (so I COULD solve the power situation) AND sent me home with a giant ice chest with lotsa gatorade!!!

We've been in the 100's regularly since April. Two months earlier than "usual" whatever that is any more. Global Warming? Natural, cyclical changes in the history of the Earths' climate? Doesn't really matter much any more now does it?

Another moment of Doggie Zen

More: ElderStyle

The website I'm drawing from http://advancedstyle.blogspot.com is strictly observational -- a guy with a camera in NYC who stops older folk he sees as having a pronounced style, point-of-view, and asks if he can take a picture of them.

I love this guy.
Picking up on style from (it looks like) the 50's on up.
Inspirational!

Oh, and I love this partiular guy with his' I-was-born-cooler-than-you-can-even-imagine-being-everrr jacket, and yet I am warm and approachable' snap.

Great project. I think they have new ones a couple of times a week.

How Style Can Age (Wonderfully)

Just a quickie here. I just love this blog and its pix.


DO check out http://advancedstyle.blogspot.com/ or click the title.
VIA http://atlantishome.typepad.com/

GOTH Summer Fun!!

I love this.

Although I believe I've pondered many miserable, costumed, characters' (I'm thinking think giant neoprene bananas and Disney characters in massive, heavy costumes) abject misery in the summers' heat -- I can't honestly say I'd thought about it from the Goth perspective!

Here's a snap:

Via http://gothsinhotweather.blogspot.com/ via ETSY http://www.etsy.com/storque/reviews/news-from-the-craft-style-blogosphere-june-4-2009-4109/

More below on the right. I'm adding the blog to my...er....blog list.

There are ANTS in my keyboard...aaaaaaargh

No shit.
ANTS.
Lil tiny black ones.

Periodically one makes a mad dash across my screen as well. Despite my respect for virtually all creatures I am forced to extinguish their little lives.

WTF are they doing there?

I cleaned the keys with Q-tips and alcohol (not the drinking kind). Okay, okay the keys needed cleaning anyway.

I even splashed about a quarter of a glass of iced tea (accidentally) on the keyboard today, thinking afterword there should be a little swell of drowned ant bodies. But noooooooooo..

Any tips fellow bloggers? Should I burn sage? Lead them to a small cup of beer? <--- Hey, it works with slugs. I'm up for almost any remedy unless it includes Aqua-Net 'cause that would pretty much kill off the keyboard entirely.

WILL DURST - The "Staycation"

The terrific political comedian Will Durst posted this on the SF Gate website (from the San Francisco Chronicle) today and I thought it was a wonderfully snarky tribute to Memorial Day and all the summer holiday time to come.

Staycation Fun

Its harder than frozen bratwursts to believe we've reached the end of May already, but there it is- Memorial Day- delivering a swift kick in the buns to any lingering memory of a very ugly winter. And the mustard rises on another summer. Co- incidentally, gas prices continue to spike. Again. Hey, alright. Just in time for travel season. What are the odds? Of course, none of us have the money to go anywhere. So, there is good news.

But we Americans would rather spread kim chee on a tofu hot dog at a dental office than give up our summer vacation. Even considering fiscal conditions that are uglier than naked rugby in the rain sponsored by the AARP. So, once again its time to trot out that old Chamber of Commerce chestnut: the Staycation.

We all know the program: Due to incredible brokeness, we go to great lengths to fool ourselves into thinking that we're embarking on a festive pleasure trip while not actually traveling anywhere. Self- delusion as a budgetary exercise via local tourista escapading. A brave attempt to make lemonade out of surplus lemons infested with a greenish mold and spider mites.

The problem with most folks planning a Staycation, is they focus on all the high points of landmarks- visiting and unfrequented restaurant- frequenting but forget to include all the little moments that truly distinguish memorable holiday excursions. So allow me to help with a couple of handy hints to keep in mind when replicating the ultimate resort experience from the comfort of your own couch.

How to Perfect Your Family's Fun Filled Staycation.

Pack luggage like you're really headed on a trip, then pick a piece to misplace for the duration. Rip off one end of a handle to complete the simulation.

Duplicate inevitable airport delay by wasting four hours at a 7/ 11.

Listen to Bjork's Medulla CD on headphones at high volume as if the airlines sat you next to a screaming infant. Repeat.

Sit on curb outside your house for 90 minutes because your room isn't ready yet.

First night of Staycation, drink way too much upon arrival and pass out on bathroom floor by 10 pm.

Set alarm for 6 am to receive wake- up call for room next to yours. Knock on door at half hour intervals with cry of: "Housekeeping!"

Remain in bed most of the first day because of third degree sunburn received after falling asleep at the beach.

For full tropical experience, dump sand in your bed.

Watch a pay- per- view movie, then refuse to pay for it, citing lousy reception.

Ignore neighbors and friends by pretending you are your own long lost twin.

Eat at a strange restaurant and grunt and point at the menu, unable to speak the native language even if it's only Floridian.

Grind broken staples into your carpeting before walking around in bare feet.

Turn air conditioning off. It's broken. Call imaginary maintenance man who never comes.

Food poisoning. 3am. Sound like a match made in heaven? Oh, it is.

Every two hours, burn sixty dollars.

And finally, when time to end your Staycation, stuff all the soap and Kleenex into your bags. And a towel.

Will Durst is a San Francisco based political comic who writes sometimes. This is one of them. He's at the San Francisco Punch Line May 26- 30. 415.397.4337.

Or check out his Rooftop Comedy minutes: http://www.rooftopcomedy.com/shows/BurstOfDurst




BUT, do not think for a moment that I have anything but respect for the armed forces personnel of any altercation for what they do for the citizens' at home.